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Social Event Emotionally Drowning

  • healingandme
  • Mar 12, 2023
  • 3 min read

How are you presented during a social event?



I attended a wedding today. It is physically and mentally demanding. The beginning. What should I wear for the event? I've never attended a wedding. My clothes are mostly casual. Kind of troubling to find something formal and fancy inside my closet. Shoes. I haven't bought any formal shoes since grade school for my orchestra concerts. White sneaker it is. Makeup. My makeup skill isn't presentable. Plus, my skin isn't in a healthy condition due to allergy. To avoid irritating my skin, only light moisturizer and sunscreen was used. Hair. Lightly curled the end of the hair to look tidier.


Not close with the couple. Friend of the couple's parent. Didn't feel the need to be there for the wedding. I felt disconnected. Tired. So many strangers. Oh right. Had dim sum with the couple's parent before the wedding. The sweets made my stomach felt uncomfortable. It affected my energy to be engaged and present for the wedding.


Other people seemed happy, enjoying the wedding. They seemed like they are mentally present for the event. I didn't know why I was there. Well, I was invited. Duh.


Sometimes, I feel disconnected from this world. I am alive, but at the same time, not present. It's like I am a foreign being who is physically here, but can't blend in. Feel like I don't belong.


It's stressful to attend social events. It's nice to meet and talk to people when I feel okay. Then there are times when I rather be alone, no one knows me, and I just observe the world, the people, and everything that is going on. It's like I'm living as a third person point of view, not first-person point of view. Not sure if anyone can understand what I mean.


One reason it's pressuring to connect with people is because I don't know how to talk or interact with people. I don't know how I should act or present myself. I don't know what to say to people. I don't know how to start or continue a conversation. I don't know to respond to people's comments. My mind wanders a lot during conversation. Most of the time, I just smile or try to agree with people. Can't communicate casually, but at least be friendly and well mannered.


After thought. A day after the wedding.


My previous thoughts and feelings weren't needed. The star of the wedding is the couple. I am not the spotlight. No one care who I am. No one care how I act. In a way of understanding, I am invisible. Just one of the wedding's invited guest.


There was no need for me to feel uncomfortable or not be in the present. If I don't want to social, then don't. Just being there and wishing the couple a happy marriage is enough.


I took out a day of my life to attend this wedding. I contributed wedding money gift. I took the time to dress up and showed up at the chapel and dinner. Who care what other people think of me. Who care if anyone noticed me or cared if I was there.


Enjoy myself.

Enjoy the wedding.

Enjoy the food.

Enjoy the nice weather and sunlight.

沾沾喜气



"I am important in my own story, but not other's. So, relax and enjoy life."



Thank you


Thank you for listening to me rant.




Comment below: Are you the type to enjoy and get the most out of a social event or do you worry how people think of you during a social event, trying to present yourself well and leave a good impression?



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